Waltrautesan no Konkatsu Jijou - Chapter 4 - A.E. 0 - Part 1

This is No Time to be Getting Excited about Swimsuits

As usual, Waltraute was stationed on the third runway of Bifröst.

The goddess of marriage Frigg, the goddess of beauty Freyja, and the other Valkyries were also sitting there, so the third runway had undergone a job change from transportation facility to party hall. Heimdallr the watchman had completely given up. He had switched his thought process over to concentrating all of the disasters to the third runway so that the other runways could run smoothly.

On this day, a new goddess arrived at the third runway.

It was the fertility goddess Iðunn who grew the apples of immortality.

Iðunn had a bandanna wrapped around her head and wore a waitress-like outfit made from simple country-style clothes. (And she had the extremely huge breasts one would expect of a fertility goddess.) She held a large basket filled with apples and she spoke up hesitantly.

“Um, it is just about apple season.”

“Oh, is it that time already?”

Waltraute took an apple of immortality out of the basket held out towards her. The red fruit almost looked transparent as if it was a ruby or something similar, but when its skin was peeled, it contained juicy white fruit. The fruits of the gods were quite strange.

It was not due to an intrinsic physical characteristic that the gods did not age; it was due to these apples.

The goddess Iðunn was the only one able to grow them, so the heavenly world of Asgard had turned into an extremely aged society filled with old men and women when the evil god Loki had kidnapped her.

As long as they ate the apples in accordance to a set cycle, the gods would never age.

However, the concept of age did not disappear entirely.

“Um, Lady Frigg? Why have you been frozen in place staring at the apples?”

“Uuh!? N-no reason at all. Ho ho ho. It is just that I am a bit full right now.”

The goddess of marriage Frigg let out a dry laugh, but the goddess of beauty Freyja grinned and spoke up.

“Lady Frigg, how many have you eaten this year in total? How many apples?”

“Kh!!”

“Well, it is similar to the number of candles on a birthday cake. Even if nothing changes visual, it still bothers you.”

“My actual age is not that much different from yours!! The only a difference is at what stage we maintain our apparent age!!”

(What are they doing?)

Waltraute watched the two argue with a shocked look.

If the number of apples eaten could change their age, it would be easy to manipulate the order of the nine Valkyries.

Waltraute bit into an apple of immortality without bothering to peel it.

Iðunn’s cultivation ability was apparent in how Waltraute felt like she was eating sherbet. The fruit had enough moisture to carry one around in lieu of a water bottle and the slight sourness at the center of the sweetness was wonderful. To put it simply, the apple was delicious.

(I need to avoid entering into a cultivation-related competition with her.)

As Waltraute was focused on competitions as usual, Iðunn spoke to her.

“Um…”

“What?”

“What about that boy?”

“?”

“The apples. These apples. The apples of immortality.” The fertility goddess Iðunn shook the basket she held in both hands. “The general rule is to not bring them to Midgard, but that boy is your husband so he could be considered to be part of Asgard. So should I bring him an apple of immortality?”

“Hm. So that is what you meant.”

“The human lifespan is supposed to be only 100 years. He will be a wrinkled old man in no time at all. If you are going to give him an apple of immortality, I think you should do so as soon as possible.”

“Hmm. But…” Waltraute munched on her apple. “Is it really okay to give immortality to a soul from Midgard? If the boy is made immortal, won’t he be treated as an outsider by human society?”

“That is a difficult theme.”

“And if he is given an apple of immortality at this stage, his physical body will stop where it is. It is just… I am not sure I should decide for him to take away the possibility of growth.”

Freyja had gotten tired of making fun of Frigg, so she cut in.

“Ha hahhn!! So you want to let that boy grow into the ideal young man and then feed him apples of immortality forever to lock him in place there!? A surprisingly good idea coming from you!!”

“Keep your delusions to yourself, you fool!!”

“But younger is always better. Giving him an apple of immortality once he is an old man does no one any good. They say what’s inside is what counts, but when it’s the same person inside either way, why would you choose the old one?”

Each of those words just so happened to stab into Frigg, but since it was Freyja, that was likely intentional.

Iðunn seemed to agree with that.

“Um, humans and gods see time differently, so you should probably make up your mind quickly. It is possible his hair will have gone gray before you know it.”

While munching on her apple of immortality, Waltraute said, “Argh, you fools!! This is not something to be decided only by the gods! What matters most is what that boy thinks about it!!”

“Yeah, but if you put an apple of immortality in front of a mortal human and ask him what he will do, the internal conflict might break his mind.”

“Um, I would be more afraid of other people seeing it and beginning to kill each other for it.”

Waltraute had eaten her apple down to the core, so she reached for a second from Iðunn’s basket.

“But that boy’s life belongs to him! Manipulating it for our own benefit sounds like something that one-eyed bearded old man would do! I do not like it!!”

Munch munch.

“Enough of that. It comes down to a single issue: young and lively or old and wrinkly!? Which will it be? Young and lively? Old and wrinkly!?”

“Um, come to think of it, what is the ideal level in your eyes, Lady Waltraute? A little boy, an underclassman, a classmate, an upperclassman, or a gentleman?”

“Wh-what are you even talking about, you fools!? I am trying to talk about the weight of a human’s life!!”

Munch munch munch munch!

“It’s little boys. She’s definitely into little boys.”

“Yes, she does have the look about her.”

“Do not decide that on your own!! And what do you mean by ‘the look’!?”

Munch munch munch munch munch munch munch munch munch munch munch munch munch!!

“No, wait, Waltraute.”

“Um, the number of apples of immortality you eat is a complex calculation.”

“Do not decide what people’s tastes are based on how they look. In fact, physical appearance means nothing to me. I never said he needed to look like that. It is just that the boy who won my hand in marriage in a competition happened to be that age!!”

Munch munch munch munch munch munch munch munch munch munch munch munch munch munch munch munch munch munch!!

“Waltraute!! Wait a second! Stop, stop!!

“Wahh! If you eat that many…!”

“Munch munch!! Munch munch chomp chomp munch munch!! …Hm? Huh!? Wait. How many apples of immortality have I eaten!?”

The change came quickly.

As stated before, Asgard had turned into an extremely aged society filled with old men and women when the evil god Loki had kidnapped the fertility goddess Iðunn. So how had they returned to their youthful appearances afterwards?

The answer was simple: They had eaten a ton of the apples of immortality.

And so…

“W-w-waaaahhhhhhhhhh!?”

Waltraute shouted out as her body was wrapped in white light.

The flash of light continued for a short period.

Finally, the light disappeared. And what it left behind was…

Waltraute with the appearance of a 10 year old.

That is what became of that invincible older sister type.

Freyja twisted her face into a grimace and clicked her tongue.

“Damn you!! Did you feel you needed more going for you to overcome my popularity!?”

“I did not do this because I wanted to, you fool!! And what exactly happened? My body has shrunk and my armor is slipping off. Don’t tell this is permanent!”

As Waltraute panicked, Frigg began grabbing as many apples as she could with a determined look on her face.

But then Iðunn replied, “Um, your most stable physical age does not change. Most of the time, it is your age upon first eating the apples. At any rate, any forced change to your apparent age should only be temporary.”

Frigg had been frantically trying to gather apples, but she now stiffened with despair. However, no one was looking in her direction.

Waltraute patted at her small body.

“I-I see. So I will return to normal after some time passes. …Good.”

“Oh, I thought it was a desperate attempt to boost sales,” commented Freyja.

“You have been doing nothing but mocking me. Do I need to teach you a lesson with this Spear of Destroying Lightning?”

“Fwa ha ha ha!! Waltraute’s small body – ha ha – won’t be able to produce enough power to do anythi-…ngyaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!?”

Freyja just barely managed to void the giant beam produced. It seemed she had a fair amount of combat skill herself.

“Oh, c’mon. If you’re gonna burn my skin, keep it to candles!! When you go beyond a brand, there is nothing erotic about it!!”

Meanwhile, the small Waltraute said, “Huh? Why did that fly out just now?”

“Um, your body may have shrunk, but your soul is the same. You do not have as great an ability to control the output of the energy, so explosions may be more likely to occur.”

“I see. And the initial velocity may have been even higher than usual.”

“It’s more powerful and she can’t control it? She’s basically unexploded ordnance now…”

“I will return to normal given some time, so there is no problem. …As long as a certain someone does not anger me during that time.”

After the small Waltraute gave that warning, the two crows Huginn and Muninn arrived.

“Huh? We have a message for Lady Waltraute.”

“Wait! Did she finally make the shift over to a more niche character type!?”

One of the ravens made that comment as if he(?) was not afraid of the gods, but the other raven made another comment before Waltraute could reply.

“We found another letter on the weather vane of the boy’s house.”

“I see.”

As Waltraute lived in the heavenly world of Asgard and the boy lived in the human world of Midgard, they could not contact each other easily. And so they used letters to keep in touch.

The raven must have used its beak to untie the letter from the weather vane and then retie it to its leg. The small Waltraute took the letter that had been tied to Muninn’s leg.

It said the following in messy handwriting:

“Let’s play!”

“…!! Honestly, that boy never learns. How many times do I need to tell him I will only accept these ridiculous requests if he defeats me in a competition!?”

“You say that, but you’re already cheerfully climbing aboard your white horse.”

“Because I must lecture him! And if he defeats me in a competition, I must consider it!!”

“Um,” cut in the apple fertility goddess Iðunn. “Come to think of it, I occasionally hear about you going to play or on a date, but have you actually had a honeymoon yet, Lady Waltraute?”

“We do not need anything so formal. …Also, from a mythological and cultural standpoint, I do not think Midgard has the concept of a honeymoo-…”

Before the small Waltraute could finish, life returned to the depressed goddess of marriage Frigg.

“This cannot stand, Waltraute!!”

“Ee!?”

“A peaceful household must be built atop a proper foundation!! You cannot grow lazy just because you have gotten married. Marriage is not the goal; it is a new starting line!!”

Frigg’s bloodshot eyes made it clear she was dissatisfied with her own marriage. She spoke with such intensity that even the small Waltraute was pushed back.

“B-but… I have travelled between the nine worlds as a Valkyrie and the boy has already visited other worlds on multiple occasions. I cannot think of anywhere we could go that would be impressive enough for-…”

“You fool!!!!! It doesn’t matter where! Just go somewhere!!”

“I cannot accept such an unreasonable demand even from you, Lady Frigg! If you insist on it, then you must defeat me in a competition!!”

“A tongue twister competition then!! Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers!!”

“Peter Piper picked a pye…ow!!”

It was over almost immediately.

The small Waltraute held her bit tongue with tears in her eyes and Freyja spoke up with a bored look.

“It’s pretty hot today, so why don’t you go swimming? Come to think of it, there has been a severe lack of exposed skin for a love comedy.”

“Mhh,” groaned the small Waltraute, but she had lost the competition.

She used the power of the Bifröst runway to break her existence apart and descended to Midgard while drawing an unnatural aurora through the sky.

“But,” said the goddess of beauty Freyja lazily. “The first challenge will be whether he recognizes Waltraute in that tiny form.”